A View to Die For...

So read the transmission I just intercepted between two Sperrkonto associates. I can only assume this means they are after me. I came to this conclusion based on the view I have at work today (see attached photo).

I am on full alert and will keep you posted, but for now I am changing Sperrkonto Alert Status to Yellow.

Yet another sighting...

Who are you??? Why do you follow me?!

sperrkonto at work

Signs of Sperrkonto activity are everywhere around me. I am reminded of it by subtle hints, such as what I witnessed recently... While driving along, I pulled up alongside this truck (seen in attached photo). I knew that someone somewhere was watching me. Being the extrovert that I am, I smiled happily and continued on.

Pedrick (pronounced "h-EH-dreeeeeehhhgg")

I recently ventured outside my natural habitat along a road we once frequented. I passed a familiar exit and remembered the time we were assigned the task of reconnaissance in the Tahoe sector. It was encouraging to see that one of Sperrkonto's highest-ranking officials was a man who went by the name of "Pedrick."

Surely a takeover of Sperrkonto is possible when Pedrick is among their finest.

May you always be wiser than he, and may you find your feet always landing one after the other...

Riddle me this, riddle me that

I can only assume that humor on your side of the ocean differs from that on this side... because your riddle left me somewhat confused. One option is in fact something I have dreamt of doing for quite some time. The other was understandably scary. So to choose between the two was actually quite a pleasant thing to imagine.

Over here, unicorns are thought to be magical creatures. Not only do they fly, but they fly ON RAINBOWS. I picture that when they sneeze, little droplets of sweet honey trickle from their precious nostrils. And their bodies are covered with the softest hair. And of all of the parts on a unicorn that are softest, surely the testes are the softest of them all!

So when I next get my coke craving, I definitely would die right then and there if someone were to take my hand and walk me over to a shining, white unicorn, with a pile of shining, white cocaine dumped onto her balls.

Testing testing 4-5-6

Fellow Sperrkontoling, I applaud your innovation and wholeheartedly agree to undertake this venture with you.

I must admit I have not been as vigilant as I should be in my Sperrkonto watch. I shall redouble my efforts and report here with my findings.

I shall finish this report with a riddle I heard last night during an evening meal with friends:

Would you rather snort cocaine off a unicorn's balls or pet a shark during a feeding frenzy?

Testing Testing 1-2-3

Brother,
Our journey begins. I have recently learned of the ability of a blog to have multiple authors! And I often find myself throughout my day wishing I could text you a photo or my thoughts. So this is a sort of compromise... We can each log into this whenever we want, and share our ridiculousness with one another, because whatever it is that we are must be encouraged!!

ESPECIALLY record here any Sperrkonto sightings or leads. I have begun this blog with a photo entry of what I think I would look like if I was born in Sperrkonto headquarters... In which case I likely would have excelled above the other Sperrkontolings and become Supreme Leader.

I cannot express how excited I am to see what insanity and inappropriateness will follow... :)