Riddle me this, riddle me that

I can only assume that humor on your side of the ocean differs from that on this side... because your riddle left me somewhat confused. One option is in fact something I have dreamt of doing for quite some time. The other was understandably scary. So to choose between the two was actually quite a pleasant thing to imagine.

Over here, unicorns are thought to be magical creatures. Not only do they fly, but they fly ON RAINBOWS. I picture that when they sneeze, little droplets of sweet honey trickle from their precious nostrils. And their bodies are covered with the softest hair. And of all of the parts on a unicorn that are softest, surely the testes are the softest of them all!

So when I next get my coke craving, I definitely would die right then and there if someone were to take my hand and walk me over to a shining, white unicorn, with a pile of shining, white cocaine dumped onto her balls.